Grow

Grow through what you go through…

That’s what my shirt says today. And while there is total truth to that statement…

It is ok to admit defeat.

I feel defeated.

I was up more than one night this week with nightmares of me coughing up blood and it happening all over again. I know the dates in my head and I know it happened this week last year. Just another setback.

I am trying to maintain a regular schedule but it’s hard.

I feel like I’m swimming.

And you know what; it gets really hard to swim when you feel like you’re anchored in the water…

I was reminded that I am the storm and while I wholeheartedly believe that, this storm is tired. I’m fucking tired. Every storm rests so it can recharge and start again. Come back even stronger. Tomorrow is my rest day. I will do things only for me and only if I want to. I will remember that it’s ok to feel down, as long as YOU GET BACK UP.

xo