Wait? I’m pregnant?

Wait? I’m pregnant?

Hi baby.

It’s mama.

You’re real. I feel you moving in there.

I can somehow finally wrap my brain around it, now, at 28 weeks.

You’re mine. I grew you & I get to keep you.

I don’t know what I thought was happening all those weeks before but this wasn’t it.

I wasn’t really excited. I was numb. I think I wouldn’t let myself think anything positive because so many things have been unsure for me. I didn’t want to get my hopes up for you.

Like I didn’t deserve to be happy?

But I think I’m starting to believe even through everything I endured, I’m allowed to be happy. I’m allowed to be excited and scared and nervous and over the moon.

All this trauma that I had was at the forefront of my mind and now it seems to be settling more and more each time you wiggle.

I got to see you today. Just a picture. Just for a few minutes. But I’m happy.

xo ✨